Friday, 24 January 2014

The story of the time I vomited in the 7-Eleven on Chapel Street

A few years back I was living on High Street in Prahran, quite close to the corner of Chapel Street - opposite Lucky Coq.

There is a 7-Eleven on the corner of High and Chapel Streets. The people in there were familiar with me, and they stocked Ben & Jerry's ice cream (chunky monkey is my fav). I was in there quite a bit. 'Twas my local.

On one dark and windy night my ex boyfriend was over, and I was in the process of packing to move out to a new place in Fitzroy. The tiny apartment was full of boxes, with all my things packed snugly away. I had already packed most of the bathroom gear, as moving day was approaching.

So that windy Friday night we'd made a roast for dinner. We roasted meat, potatoes, onions and garlic. Yum. Problem was, the smell of roasted garlic triggered a migrane for the poor ex and he woke me at 1am (unintentionally) writhing in agony and groaning. I'd seldom seen him in that much pain.

I frantically jumped out of bed, opening and searching through boxes. To no avail. I couldn't find his spare pain killers anywhere. His pain wasn't getting any better so I decided to dash to the 7-Eleven and buy some. Hoping dearly they had something stronger than plain old Panadol (they didn't).

It was Spring at the time, and Spring nights in Melbourne can get nippy (especially at that time of morning), so I chucked on my hoodie and some PJ bottoms and dashed out with my keys and wallet. No time for a bra.

I basically ran past all the people queuing to get into Lucky Coq, and the others stumbling along the street, and into the 7-Eleven, grabbing a packet of pain killers and waiting in line. There were 4 people in front of me.

'Hurry hurry hurry' I remember thinking.

Then I noticed something odd.

I didn't feel too great myself. Obviously in my haste I had neglected to pay attention to the fact that I was quite nauseous.

Quite nauseous indeed.

In a flash, almost too late, I dashed towards the door. I had just enough time to stash my wallet and the pain killers under my arm and attempt to cover my mouth to prevent spewing inside 7-Eleven in front of everyone. It didn't work, although my reflexes are really good, but I'd made it close enough to the door to aim high enough that most of it went outside.

I kept stumbling forwards (hurling all the while) until I found a pole to cling to while my body spasmed, sending forth everything digested in the previous 5 hours onto the Chapel Street side walk. Roasted meat is neigh pleasant to regurgitate.

My hands were covered in puke. I had bits of it stuck to my PJ bottoms.

People were walking past me, laughing, thinking I'd drunk too much.

Yeah right, in my love heart PJ bottoms and my hoodie, sans bra. What a fun night out.

There was nothing to do but try to flick chunks off my hands, walk home, retrieve my keys from my pocket with my vomit covered hands and deliver the pain killers.

I returned to my local 7-Eleven a few days later to pay for the pain killers. Feeling awkward that I'd inadvertently stolen them in my keenness not to have to reenter the store in which I vomited. I'm sure my face was beetroot red when I asked the counter dude if he was working the previous Friday night.

When he nodded I pulled a face and said, "umm so you know how a chick came in and puked everywhere". And then I pointed at myself and informed him I'd inadvertently stolen the panadol.

He laughed and laughed, and then he congratulated me.


"Oh madam you got the vomit perfectly all on the mat we have in our doorway, well done! All we did was roll up of all your vomit inside the mat and hosed it out back!" he informed me, still grinning.

I paid for the stolen panadol, and feeling strangely proud, went on my way.

The mat in the door way had indeed been cleaned, and may I note it was huge. Luckily.

I kept that 7-Eleven as my local, despite the vomit situation. Even though it was not long after I moved to Fitzroy. Each time I went in, if that same counter dude was working, he would ask me, "and how are you feeling today Ma'am?"


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